here it is

I am here and you are here and we are all together, wow thats a new way to write a blog, with everyone around u, infact staring at you while you write it, and the background Kaminey………………………… So this is it, me, you everyone, defined in  a song, I ve got a lot to do, like probably study for the firm that is coming to recruit or sumthing, (stop showing that red red mark I know the spelling is wrong) but I decide not to. If u like Dags, Dags might end up liking u, i NEVER LIKED dags, He wudnt like me……….. So that amounts to Freedom at point zero. You dont get it, u r not supposed to read it.

Lazy Tuesday Afternoon

Almost 4 months since i posted anything, considering most of the times I am writing when I am never really in a state of mind makes most of it sound like random bullshit……. and then i also have d nerve to let people know, actually mail it to them. Now even after 3 years of writing it, I am trying to make amends with no result. Amazes me how people are, How I am. (this actually shocks me ).

Thanks to the college blog debacle, I am back here, bunking classes to write on my blog, I could have used some sleep….. but I dont want to. Maybe I want to but I dont need to (after the deep slumber of about 12 hours last night). Thanks to friends with ways to make me happy. Even after me being the disaster that I am. Being the eldest in the group I am the one behaving like a baby all the time. I cant apologize for the way I feel, but I feel stupid for feeling or reacting the way I do.

Everyone is trying to be nice, I know nothing is lost as yet , but the fear of loosing it is scary. The fact is I am here and no one else is, even if they are trying hard to understand, they cant. I think it would be better to be away, but nowhere to be.

Damn the Static

If Jack Johnson could sing it …….. I want to make it come true…….. Wish i could sleep through the static and then wake up one day when all that was static starts moving………..

Wishful Thinking

In memory of my dead butterflies

At the risk of being called extremely selfish, never been a big fan of nature, I mean i like it but i dont mull over the sustainable development thing too much, I mean its good if we can do it but beyond that have never tried or thought over it……………. But one thing I am really missing right now are  my butterflies……….. (No I dint own them), Some elaboration might be of some help………. I am referring to those butterflies which make u feel dizzy, they appear on their own somewhere between your throat  and gut, though i could never locate them, they just were there, the problem was they never appeared unless it was some external factor……….. I have had two of them in 23 years of my life………………… and then suddenly one year back all of them died, They just died………. Maybe they poisoned it or maybe i choose the wrong niche for my butterflies…… I could use few of them though………. I am kind of bored………. Come back if you can (The Butterflies)

Alternate Reality

Its bad bad bad………………… changing my perspective though or maybe its already changed. Happiness as an idea always has a picture and if we could just live with an alternate reality(happier) wouldnt we actually end up being happy????? I guess it really needs to be prolonged though, otherwise coming in terms with the real reality would really mess things up. It could be that alternate reality is the real thing.

My “temporary” Republic

The life changing ideas in a woman’s life never come when they are actually brooding over it, Its more like serendipity and being a believer of Bentham I have actually come up with an idea of an ideal state where there shall be greatest good of greatest number. As its a eutopia in itself i make it temporary for every woman on this planet earth.

My first green dress………..(post dated)

I should have written it earlier, it gets less funny with time but neway its worth writing about, so 9th august one of the funniest day in my whole life, I am out in the city with my 3 friends ( for which we borrowed another friend’s car) and even before we reach the city the ancient Maruti 800 has run out of fuel……. so we walk down to get petrol in bottles and somehow manage to start it and then the horn got ruined neway Mitthu as she is good with this kind of stuff managed somehow………. (” i went to the city to buy new shoes for my new green dress) so we are getting back from the city our warden sees my friend smoking……….. (she knows about it already) and then we decide that we should let her pass so that we can buy booze safely but then guess what V.C saw us coming out of the theka………….. neway we managed to get back and while we are at it after 4 neat shots i am still sane which dint seem enough for me………. i get back to the hostel wear my new green dress, get brilliant eye makeup, feel like a princess………. while others are still getting ready just to be on a safer side so that i can stand the inevitably sucky music i decide to take shots while watching RHCP on Vh1 …………. thats the last thing i remember ………. and then it was morning……………………….. i bumped my head so bad, lost my lenses and slept in my pretty green dress………………………………..

Lack of words, Lack of expressions, Dying idealism, Distorted Communism, Dreadful apathy, Hollow dreams, Indifference, Extremism, Organized Religion, No accomplice, Instability, Lies, Dictatorship, Greed, Gluttony, Lack of options, Bad place, Worst timing, No survival tricks, Faithless, Cynical, Captivated creativity, Rejection, Random hook ups, Hatred, Depleting Ozone layer, Roots, Displacement, Misplacement, Scorching Sun, Just 2 months of winter and 10 of Summers,Curtailed freedom, Guilt, Dissatisfaction ………………………………………………………………………………… Me at 22.

Happy to hang around

I was happy to hang around…………..

Hi I am Winston Wolf

Hi i am Winston Woolf, I solve problems( Pulp Fiction), wierd isnt it? Of all the things i can recall from the movie is this dialogue (except the soundtrack obviously), Talking about soundtracks Snatch and Garden State, i think they top the charts, or maybe i am just ignorant. Coming back to the point so who is this Winston Wolf, though not very significant but damn what charecter………………………… I cant recall Vinvent Vega or Jules Winnfield………………… lets be real i remember their names obviously i do recall them……. (random) the point was i dont want to be Winston Wolf………………….. I need a Winston Wolf……or maybe i am Winston Wolf.(finally a fullstop).